Chichona, Ace of Chalices by Azul Nogueron

Chichona by Azul Nogueron

Ace of Chalices by Azul Nogueron

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“I am They. Once I laid in bed and whispered to myself, “you’re gay..” just to see how it felt. Now I whisper to myself “I’m a boy..” and feel a secret happiness. Purgatory has always been described to me as the first stop to the ascension to heaven: where the souls of our bodies repent for their sins on Earth before our final destination. Our souls have left our bodies once our time on Earth has expired and it was in the hands of God to tell us if we were good enough to enter His heaven, leaving the living to endure a crisis of self worth. Who am I? The fear of God is well within me, but the fear of authenticity scares me more. I will be damned by Him and by them. They scare me, but now they is me. I took a step a year ago, a step that still scares me. I released the red tones in my life and waved a blue flag over my name. I worry that when I die, He will say that there is no room. I worry that there is no room, and I will die. But I cleansed my sins and demons, so He must accept me. He must accept me because I have repented for my lack of authenticity with my performance, my words, and my loves. True Trans Soul Rebel.

I explore my trans identity by being honest. I depict my story onto relics of my past and paint a story of who I am. I paint portraits of myself and embroider relics of my past into my body, to demonstrate that although there have been a few surface changes that I am still the same person that people have gotten to know the past few years. My “dirty laundry” will be installed as such, drying for the world to see but my dirty laundry will be not be without my words, my experiences, my emotions and my voice. I am They but now you will hear me as Him, because my voice is my power, and only I can judge myself as worthy.”

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You can see more of Azul’s work on their instagram @azulnog or on their website azulnogueron.weebly.com

“Azul Alberto Nogueron is a queer non-binary multidisciplinary artist and curator from Chicago, IL. They began their career as an artist in Chicago, where they worked with organizations like After School Matters, Columbia College, Fulton Street Collective, and the National Museum of Mexican Art. They received their BA from Monmouth College and are receiving their Masters of Fine Arts from Maryland Institute College of Art.

​Their current practice reflects the dichotomy between religious beliefs and the queer experience, specifically in the trans community. They are exploring their conflicting beliefs and use their own experience as a trans person to create stories of acceptance, fear, and curiosity in their paintings.”